Now I have to ask myself. Why am I doing this. Is it because I want to do this or is it because I feel I should do it. A lot of things really came to light today. It can really have it’s up…and at times down. But am I content with it. Is this really what I want? Sometimes I’m so worried about how people view me that I forget that I should care about myself more than anyone cares about me. I like it, but do I love it? What happened to how things used to be?
Disappointment has been a common theme in my life. I really just don’t understand why. They say good people deserve good things. I feel as if I’m a good person. So why haven’t I got the things I deserve. Idk what to do right now. Up late trying to study for a test but my mind is in a whole different place right now. I don’t even know what type of feeling this is. But just like I’ve done in the past I’ll just keep pushing to get to where I want and need to be (whenever I get there.) This post isn’t for anyone to feel bad for me or anything like that. Just a self reflection and a reminder for me to get where I need to be and end these disappointments.